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Reamaycho.
красный мух
ot_kuda_nah wrote in rusky_new_zakon
Reamaycho. Where did he come from? Where did we all come from? What is going on?
Let me light up this joint and tell you what in the hell is going on.

He got his name from his alcoholic father who worked as a pet handler on the outskirts of Romulan Empire. He never knew his mother because she threw him out in a trash bin right after he was born. It's actually a Pet Handler from Bora-5 who found him and picked him up from the trash disposal. The Pet Handler wanted to eat him with brandy but then on the other hand he decided to raise this creature and train him to be a Pet Trainer Himself. He was a trainer of octopuses. He named the creature Reamaycho...

Raised by the Octopus tamer, Reamaycho had one messed up childhood. The Pet Handler got fucked up on brandy every day and had a habit of throwing Reamaycho into the pool with trained octopuses and made octopuses attack Reamaycho. But Reamaycho survived every time beacause he was one lucky motherfucker. By the time he was eighteen he could cook octopuses better then a Sushi chef from Osaka and he also got The daughter of local Boss very pregnant so he had to leave home and run for the safety of the Federation where he passed all tests and became a captain and was given a space ship...

So as you see everything turned out not as bad as it could have been had.

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